It's Life. Deal with it.

It's Life. Deal with it.: Debilitating Grief

2011-04-03T08:33:00.001+08:00

It's Life. Deal with it.: Debilitating Grief

Debilitating Grief

2011-04-03T08:33:00.000+08:00

There is such a thing as debilitating grief.. when you can't feel anything else except pain and you crave for numbness. We all have our own thresholds for pain and suffering, for grief and sorrow.. we all have our own level of comfort we retreat to when all else fails and nothing comforts.

The most valuable thing you can lose isn't material wealth or some trinket with sentimental value. Its your ability to BELIEVE.

To believe that there will be better tomorrows, better days.

To believe that there is someone out there destined to be with you and love you for who you are.

To believe that the pain will go away, that you will wake up one day and be able to smile sincerely to yourself.

When you lose someone you care about - whether they go away and leave you, or if they've found someone else to be with, years of being in a relationship gone dead can be as debilitating as losing someone to death. Sometimes, there is a certain comfort in death.. its finality.. than to have someone leave you for someone else..

People often think that being replaced is the fault of the person who got replaced.. that they didn't do enough, or they didn't try hard enough.. Easy to judge when you're not in the shoes of a person who suffered the worst heartbreak ever.

To not feel loved as an equal, as a partner...

To not have a reason to wake up to...

To not have anything or anyone...

Is there any joy to loneliness? After the nest is vacated, is there such a thing as happiness in being alone?

Of course there will be people in your life. Friends, acquaintances, co-workers... but is there anyone to come home to?

Some people adjust, some people lie. Some people immerse themselves with things to keep loneliness at bay.

Some people look for others as lonely as they are, some people just stay home and wallow in their loneliness..

Easy to say "you'll find someone" or "have a relationship with God"...

Even God can't be with you.. that's the reason why He made two...

How can you believe in anything positive when belief in itself has been taken away from you? How can you reach a stage of equilibrium when your entire world has been taken away from you?

You go through the motions of life, of living... unbelieving in anything else except the pain that numbs you... and a glimmer of hope that one day the numbness ends..

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE DOTC

2011-01-04T16:57:00.002+08:00

I sent this letter via email and bounced back... so instead, I'll post it.

====================================

Transportation Secretary Jose de Jesus

Dept. of Transportation and Communication

Dear Secretary De Jesus;

Thank you very much for considering hearing the side of the public with regards to the Toll Hike. It is indeed a heated and much debated issue since the toll fee hike was first discussed last year and implemented this January 2011.

It seems that the ripples of this coming Tsunami has not been considered by those who proposed it if they were indeed looking out for the welfare of their riding public. A 300% increase does not only affect commuters and those with vehicles, it will affect everyone - and I mean everyone, even those who do not use the SLEX.

With a 300% increase - everything - from the simple newspaper delivery to and from Metro Manila to the cargo delivery to and from Metro Manila of everything under the sun - from consumables [food, livestock, poultry, fish, vegetables, canned goods, dry goods, etc] to things used that are delivered [car parts, furniture, spare parts, appliances, different types of equipment and their parts] and even fuel - raw to processed fuel - everything will be affected. Things and produce that come from the southern part of Luzon that use the SLEX as a main artery to deliver their wares and goods will also be affected.

Delivery fees, middlemen fees, bus fares, jeepney fares, etc will jack up just cover the cost of plying the SLEX and this exorbitant toll fee charge. Prices of each and every item that pass through the SLEX will be affected and it will go up and everyone in Metro Manila and those in the southern part of Luzon will be adversely affected by any expected price increases of goods, services and other deliveries. The prices of fuel will go up, the cost of travelling to and from will go up, and this will affect everyone who travels via SLEX, parents and students, the working class and even local tourists will be affected.

Just as this country sees hope with a new administration, the prices of everything seem to be going up and to put an increase this big on such a vital artery like SLEX might and will be the straw that breaks our backs. This unfair increase isn't something that jives with the ideals set upon us when President Aquino took his Oath of Office.

I hope and pray that any increase be seen from all angles and be considered from all angles and not just of those who will benefit from this. Apparently, the SLEX isn't there anymore to "serve" the riding/commuting public nor does it appear as something that is more beneficial to the greater majority of Filipinos. I honestly feel those who manage the SLEX and insist on pushing through with this increase does not want the public to use the highway. It actually feels like entrapment because there is no other choice nor alternative to get from point A to point B and for those who manage it to loosely comment that those who object can use the "service roads" and/or alternative routes is utterly insensitive to the plight of ordinary citizens - millions of whom live at both ends of the SLEX even in and around it.

The Philippine Constitution states that the right to travel will not be " impaired except in the interest of national security, public safety, or public health, as may be provided by law." - in which case - the right to travel freely within our country is going to be greatly impaired with this increase. Of course, nothing comes for free. There has to be some middle ground everyone can benefit from. 300% increase is not middle ground nor is it a win-win solution. It is very lopsided favoring only those who proposed it and will prosper from it and they are not even Filipinos but this is on Filipino soil used by Filipinos.

I pray the voices of Filipinos be heard and the plight of the common man be addressed first before anything else by this government.

With best wishes.

Regards,

The Reason for the Season...

2010-12-16T07:56:00.000+08:00

Its December once more and this time of year usually tugs at your heart strings and makes a lot of people very sentimental or emotional. And its funny how come they can't even put that kind of value on each and every day of the year.

Why is it that only during Christmas do they even bother putting any weight on the essence of "family" and family "togetherness" but neglect and ignore their spouses and kids all year round? Hypocrites. Bigger families "demand attendance" of each and every family member during family reunions but hardly care about anyone else except themselves all year round.. even bigger hypocrites.

After so many years of seeing this kind of hypocrisy and two-faced relations, I've vowed to keep my Christmases plain and simple, spend it alone if need be than be surrounded by hypocrites on the eve of the so-called "Birth" of the Savior. I find it very stupid to even waste an evening with people who play dual roles - those who pretend to care but don't, those who pretend to be responsible but are not, those who pretend to be good parents but are the worst kind, those who pretend to be Christians but are far far worse than the demons that hound them if they still have the pleasure of having a "conscience".

No, this isn't a "feel good" blog, not today, not this season. I have no quarrel with the "reason for the season" because apparently, its more commercialized than it is spiritual. Its so stressful to those who cannot provide and those who do not have enough and we've forgotten the real reason for the season - the Birth of the Christ Jesus.

We've taken the "season of giving" to a whole new level, or basically - taken it to its most debased level - materialism. That it isn't "Christmas" if you don't receive a gift and you have guilt-trips when you are unable to "give gifts"... plain and stupid.

God gave us His only begotten son, born of a virgin, who suffered and died FOR OUR SINS... the prayer holds the real and true meaning of the season. How many of us can live up to that? Have we even tried? I'm not a perfect person, I can't even imagine giving up my child to save strangers let alone worthless souls I have no relations to. And why should I even bother since I'm old enough to know no one else would do the same for me?

But that's selfishness and it counters the purpose and reason for Christmas which is self-less-ness...

Unfortunately, I am surrounded by those who are supposed to "take care" of me and my children who know nothing of self-lessness and can even lie about his own kids and call them names, drug users, worthless kids as he vilifies and raises his ego so high just for him to escape his own stench. So much for "Christians" pretending to be human beings.

If my children are raised in full view of lies, selfishness, egotistic behaviour, "all-mine mentality" and fooling others into believing otherwise - a snake in wolf's skin pretending to be a sheep - I wonder how my children can even grow up to be self-less human beings who prefer to help others before helping themselves, who prefer to empathize and sympathize with others than be apathetic and numb to their surroundings, to be givers without ever expecting anything in return save for respect and love...

What we give to our children as weapons to strengthen them in life, to make them better human beings, to be strong, courageous, morally upright people - is far better than any gift you can find in some over crowded department store with a warranty of one year. Lessons we keep for life have no warranties. The strength we teach our children does not expire or get worn down with usage. The love we sincerely show them is there for the rest of their lives and not forgotten after the wrappings have been discarded.

Yet some people who call themselves "responsible parents" can only measure their worth as parents on the number of digits and gifts they give, or at times - RELUCTANTLY give their own flesh and blood. And when the children lose their way at times, they are rebuked for all the things they were "given"... that they are made to feel they are not deserving of a proper education, a decent vacation, a movie once and a while, that they don't deserve new stuff, some proper attention... instead of guiding them as parents ARE SUPPOSED to do... sad.. too much time has been wasted and sometimes it looks like its too late for that anymore.

We are not measured by the number of digits we keep in our bank accounts we hide from our spouse and children. We are measured by the RESULTS and who is loved and preferred more.. yes, it has boiled down to that - a popularity contest. We are measured by the attention we give and not the number of days we are IN the house but mentally and spiritually out of it being cooped up in the bedroom doing nothing but watch stupid DVDs instead of tutoring a small child. Childhood memories are NOT available in any department store. They are made and children are not the authors of their childhood, PARENTS ARE.

What we are as parents is the best .. or the worst thing we can give our children this season for every year that passes by and when your children begin to be reluctant attendees to family reunions - it isn't their fault - its yours as a parent. What our children become is a clear result of our being parents and one parent cannot handle everything if the other parent is still around to mess up everything. No one parent can be blamed for everything wrong or right - it took two people to make a child, same goes when things go wrong or right and when one person can't admit to a fault - I wonder who the children would look up to in the end.

There is no such thing as "me, mine or I" as a parent. Those who say that are lame excuses for a person pretending to be a human being. Parents who say that to their spouses and children have no excuse to be called a "responsible parent"... the only thing they're responsible for is for all the negative things that happen in a family. Because people like that will always blame the other spouse even their own children for all the things that go wrong without even admitting they had anything to do with it... such parents should not even be allowed to have kids. When one parent "hides" the things his children should have and deserves to have but DEPRIVES them of such - is there even enough words in the dictionary to describe such a person, let alone a parent?

So much for the season for giving....

A Small Hand

2010-03-17T15:34:00.000+08:00

The TV is on and I’m trying to distract myself from the stress of the past 3 weeks. Its still there and I doubt if it will ever leave me. The signs of stress are taking its toll on me and I retreat into the silence of the room listening to the breathing of my young prince as he sleeps his small tender hand in mine.

My mind wanders into the events of the past weeks and I wonder how his life will turn out to be. Any mother would protect such a gentle soul from the hardships and ugliness of the world but I question my capacity for strength as I stare at his sleeping face.

The country isn’t the country it once was. If things continue the way it does, what future can one mother give him? I look at the news everyday and the news overwhelms me. People running for top seats offering lip service left and right but I begin to question their sincerity once the issue of working together AFTER the elections is raised. No one wants to work with whoever wins. Everyone wants to win but no one wants to work together regardless of party affiliation, creed or color. So where is the sincerity in wanting to uplift this country to a higher plane? Is Unity in this country dead?

The people are all going hay-wire. Mud slinging left and right as well, people bashing others for their opinions and beliefs and those who directly and indirectly target supporters. It’s an ugly mud wrestling scene with everyone joining the melee. And for what? Because everyone wants to be heard but no one wants to listen. Only a handful of people listen while the rest riot online and on the streets. Only a handful of people think while the rest go about their blind beliefs, touting signs to vote for their chosen candidate.

And I look at my youngest son and I wonder who will be the next President of this country and how his life will be based on the decisions we do now. One person cannot do it alone. We do what we can on our own efforts and endeavors, to spread the information and gather information that we can to help this country move forward. To expose the truth and sincerely help get the truth out. But one person cannot do it alone.

Given the choice and if I had the resources, I would have taken my young prince in my arms and take off. Get him away from here. He deserves a better life and being here is not a life he deserves to have. My children deserve better. And I watch the news and ask myself – are these the candidates who can give my children a country they deserve?

My question remains unanswered. I look upon each candidate and I wonder not about their sincerity but their capacity for “follow through”, to make a dream a reality and inspire people to follow his lead. They all say the same things; they all have wonderful plans for this country. They all have promises to keep eventually. And they are only human to begin with.

This coming election is vital. The country is already at the edge of an abyss tittering to fall or be rescued. No one person is to be blamed for its dilemma. We are all to blame. In our own little way we have contributed to the deterioration of the system – our acts of omission and commission – and those who focus on commissions only instead of doing their jobs.

From the small government office in some far off municipality to that large building called the city hall to the courts to the government agencies all the way to the palace by the river. We get the government we deserve because we do not speak up. We do not think. We do not even complain about corruption because we know nothing will come out of it if we do. Those who speak out get their voices drowned in the silence of the majority.

And I look at the sleeping young boy beside me and I wonder how life would be when he turns 10 in five more years, would he have a country in shambles or a country regaining its foothold as a nation of heroes or will it be a nation of villains?

I dread the day when my children ask me one question.. What did your generation do to our future?

My question now is – what will our generation do for their future? We still have time. We have the power for change and to change. We have the voices that need to be heard and we have to stop relying on other people to do it for us. Its time for a revolution of change. And it begins with each and every one of us.

Noynoy's Latest Public words

2010-02-08T13:31:00.000+08:00

The following is from Ms. Sylvia Mayuga. I am reposting since I would like people to know what has been transpiring behind the scenes. The lower part is from NOYNOY AQUINO himself.

NOYNOY’S LATEST PUBLIC WORDS

Feb. 8, 2010

From Ms. Sylvia: Note - This arrived by e-mail just now, a rare one from Noy. Looks like he's beginning to raise his dukes. About time. Note the date this was written, as rumors swirled that Villar and Arroyo, Inc. had already agreed on a quid pro quo: You keep me out of jail, I'll keep you out of jail. Deal?

PRESS STATEMENT OF SENATOR BENIGNO S. AQUINO III February 3, 2010.

I am not surprised with this turn of events. First, our opponents have had a long head start in this campaign. And while I diligently perform my functions as a legislator, the others are practically campaigning full time, neglecting their mandate with those who entrusted them with their votes.

Second, for all the unprecedented and sustained ads spending in all forms of media of the other camp and the unrelenting and increasingly below-the-belt and baseless black propaganda against me by my opponents, not to mention the harassment we have been continuously getting from this administration—the arbitrary transfers and replacement of police directors, the inexplicably adverse rulings we have been getting from Comelec for our local executives, the abrupt cessation of government projects in provinces friendly to us and lately even the denial of venues for our rally sites-- I am surprised that I am still on top of the surveys.

Third, it's becoming clear by the day that an unholy alliance is developing between this administration and my opponent. No wonder the Palace spokesman couldn’t restrain himself in expressing his gratitude to one of my opponents for keeping quiet on the many issues confronting this administration.

Of course, that is not to say that we do not face challenges in the campaign. Quite a lot, I must say, foremost of which is the ability to bring our message—a clean, decent, transparent and accountable government will put an end to massive corruption, dedicate precious public resources to basic services for the poor and alleviate our people’s hopelessness and poverty—across to as many of our people as possible. It is a strong and relevant message that we are certain has had and will continue to have traction among more and more of our voters. We have been able to address this. In the coming days, we will be able to do this with greater frequency and in a sustained manner through ads.

On top of this, I believe that our comparative advantage—the organizational strength coming from our ability to mobilize volunteers all over the country—still has to make itself felt in the campaign. We expect that to happen as we formally start the campaign this February, the historic People Power month.

I have been through this before. When I first ran for office as a Congressman in 1998, I faced eight opponents and initially attracted about two-thirds of the votes. After the eight ganged up on me, throwing everything they could at me, my numbers fell to half of what I started with.

But since the issues they threw at me did not stick and since I brought a message of change and hope, in the end, I prevailed with plenty to spare.6. What should not escape all of us is that I still lead the surveys—from the time I declared my candidacy to this day. I would like to assure everyone, especially our supporters that as the formal campaign period starts, we will work harder to make sure that we remain on top of the fight and the hope of our people for a clean, competent and compassionate government through my tandem with Senator Mar Roxas will be fulfilled.

===============================================================

I Don't Care....

2009-11-10T16:33:00.000+08:00

I don’t care...

I don’t care who you are as long as you’re an educated person with a great sense of humour and pick up.

I don’t care who your friends are as long as you don’t shoot them down and you don’t shoot down mine.

I don’t care what office you belong to, we are all hard working people in this country.

I don’t care where you live; we all shit the same way anyway.

I don’t care what school you went to, we were all born naked at one point in time.

I don’t care what your annual income is; we all get screwed by the same government anyway.

I don’t care what kind of food you eat; it all goes out the same way.

I don’t care what kind of music you listen to; we all have our own internal rhythm.

I don’t care what kind of car you drive; we all get stuck in traffic anyway.

I don't care if you walk, run, jog, hop or skip, we all go to bed horizontally when we sleep.

I don’t care how many countries you’ve been to, have you been to Neptune? No one has.

I don’t care what brand of cellular phone is in your pocket, it all dies when it’s not charged.

I don’t care what your political leanings are as long as you present them in a very intelligent manner.

I don’t care who your candidate is for 2010 as long as you don’t demean and insult the candidates of other people and focus instead on telling me why I should vote for yours.

I don’t care what you have to say if all you can say is a negative note against the world we live in.

BUT WHAT I DO CARE ABOUT IS OUR COUNTRY AND OUR PEOPLE.

I care about all of us UNITED as a people working to help OUR COUNTRY survive.

I care about all of us CONCERNED about our environment and in making the world a BETTER PLACE for our children and our grand children.

I care about CLEAN AND HONEST GOVERNANCE AND TRANSPARENCY in how the government conducts its business.

I care about those who are in dire need of ASSISTANCE no matter how small our assistance maybe – a hug, a positive thought, a prayer, a simple statement saying “EVERYTHING’S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.”

I care about HONESTY and INTEGRITY in the candidates running for 2010. If they don’t have it, they’re not worth my vote.

Now if you don’t care about that, then THAT’S your problem

not mine.

It's Life. Deal with it.: WHEN MOTHER NATURE THROWS A TANTRUM

2009-10-14T22:41:00.000+08:00

It's Life. Deal with it.: WHEN MOTHER NATURE THROWS A TANTRUM

WHEN MOTHER NATURE THROWS A TANTRUM

2009-10-14T22:23:00.006+08:00

In the Philippines, we recently experienced two typhoons that killed hundreds of people and damaged Billions; yes, Billions worth of infrastructure, agriculture and residential properties. The country’s economy will suffer short and long term effects trying to recover what it lost in two weeks but the loss of lives will forever change the landscape this country once enjoyed.

Used to be that children enjoyed the ‘sound’ of rain because it meant taking a bath in the rain, playing around in the rain and a suspension of classes. Now, children go into fits of crying and trauma at the mere sight of dark skies or the sound of a sudden downpour pelting their roofs with huge raindrops.

Many of the Filipinos affected by the flooding caused by Ondoy and Pepeng are still trying to rebuild their lives two weeks after Ondoy thrashed the Metro and Northern Luzon is picking up the pieces after Pepeng.

Reports have been continuously streaming regarding the inefficiency of government rescue, government assistance, first aid, poor shelter, no relief, and no immediate solution to a flood that has beset parts of the city for almost 2 weeks now. Children are getting sick, properties are abandoned, relocation is a nightmare and no matter what is done, the garbage pile up in the city doesn’t seem to be lessening. There are piles, mounds, even mountains of garbage littering major streets and avenues in the Metro and the government has been proven inutile to cope with a disaster of this magnitude.

It has also proven that government agencies did not prepare, plan or even purchase the resources required to allow for immediate rescue and relief to almost half a million people. It cannot be said that the ‘elements’ were working against them since private individuals and groups braved raging waters and heavy downpour just to rescue families with what they could use at the moment. Non-experienced men gave up their lives to save others while those who supposedly trained for such missions were nowhere to be found at zero hour on ground zero.

On the aftermath of Ondoy and Pepeng, news and information slowly stream in. Inefficient government service, poor logistics, ill-prepared teams, no resources, little or no communication seem to be reported over and over again from different municipalities and cities and even provinces. No proper coordination in the release of water from dams causing more damage and deaths when it could have been avoided had proper planning been done prior to any disaster that caught this government with their pants down.

The people blame the government; the government blames the people as well as Climate Change, Global Warming, Mother Nature and even God for the catastrophe that happened on September 27, 2009. But the people know better. The Philippines have had its share of super typhoons, earthquakes, erupting volcanoes and anything Mother Nature can throw us with. And we’ve always survived, but we’ve never been caught in anything of this nature because it came too fast and too soon, help came too late and too few.

Climate Change and Global Warming are not news anymore. VP Al Gore has been globe-trotting about it, bringing his message of “Inconvenient Truth” to almost all corners of the Earth. My kids and their classmates have seen it, its even been shown on HBO. So how come we were not prepared for this?

Political will and Climate Change will never be separated. It will forever be intrinsically entwined with each other and the only constant would be is to adapt. We cannot fight Climate Changes but we can correct it. We cannot go against what Mother Nature throws against us but we can always prepare for it. We cannot stop the earth from shaking the very foundations of our soul but we can build stronger and better structures to prepare for it.

In adapting comes Political Will.

One man cannot change the world. A group of 10 people cannot change the world. But if we begin with one and multiply those changes a hundred fold, we change our lifestyle, our consumption, our amount of waste drastically and we prepare for the worst case scenario ever.

What happened in our country wasn’t just Climate Change or Global Warming giving us a taste of things to come. It was one ingredient in a disaster waiting to happen and it did happen. No preparation, no proper warning equipments, poor communication to coordinate agencies, no logistics or resources to reach people, slow mobilization of air support, clogged water ways, cemented creeks, denuded mountains, shallow riverbeds filled with silt and garbage, a non-existent flood control system, inconsiderate openings of dams and spillways, and the worse kicker of it all – non-stop rain that poured in a month’s worth of rainfall in one day. Had there been enough proper preparation and planning, coordination and implementation of certain rules and regulations – Ondoy could have poured the same amount of rain on the country but would it have flooded so badly if waters found the proper exits it used to have? Would that many people died if they were banned from living too near creeks and water ways? Would flooding in the city be as bad if the creeks and water ways been declogged all the way to the ocean or lake? Would inner streets flood so badly if sewers and canals been free of garbage?

We cannot fully blame Climate Change for what has happened. It is Nature. Nature that man has played a deadly game of Russian roulette with by not cutting down on carbon emissions, and denuding forests, pouring chemicals into her blood line and clogging up her oceans with garbage.

So how will we adapt?

We prepare for the worst and make sure we have the resources to meet it with little or no casualties. We clean up our act and put a stop to logging and replant nude mountain sides. We clean up and get with the program of recycling our waste, lessen our consumption of wasteful materials. We stop covering our flatlands with cement. Stop carbon emissions from factories as well as focus on using eco-friendly appliances and equipment. We ‘zone’ our cities properly and allow residents to reside in appropriate areas instead of creek sides or river banks. We literally clean up the city – on the surface, deep underneath it and unclog all those water ways and canals, widen it if necessary. Build flood dikes and levees and make sure the materials used are sturdy enough to withstand extreme weather conditions and flooding.

We need to take care of our immediate environment and not wait for other people to do it for us. Until we change what was made wrong, typhoons like Ondoy and Pepeng will continue to hit countries and hit it bad. We need to change, let's be the change we want to happen.

Be part of the movement. www.blogactionday.org

2009-10-06T00:22:00.001+08:00

A Legacy of Better Philippines

2009-08-11T14:13:00.004+08:00

Numerous people have written about them. A simple couple thrown into the limelight of politics borne of a need for change and a belief that the country can be more than what it is. This struggle began way back in the 70s and it has been 30 years or even more yet still we are faced with a country beset with poverty, over population, strife, political disarray, greed, corruption, usurpation of power and abusive government officials who only took office for personal agendas.

Now both Tita Cory and Tito Ninoy are gone and we are left behind to carry on a battle they fought, sacrificing their private lives, their families, their freedoms, and their lives for a better Philippines. No more can be asked of them, no more can be squeezed out of them.

Filipinos are faced with an enemy far greater than someone carrying a gun and pointing it at his head. The enemy comes from within him. The will to carry on, the will to change and the will to act when wrong doings are in the midst. Apathy, indifference, and resignation are some of the worse character traits a Filipino can be shrowded with. Cynicism even worse. Because it leaves no room for trust, for belief, for principles. But can we really blame him?

Daily choices are often prioritized over that of the general issues besetting a nation. We work day and night to make a living or else we do not put food on the table, we cannot send our children to school. We all have the same types of worries and problems in varying levels but they are all common no matter the class in society.

But why are we beset with such worries to begin with? Because we know that if we don't work, we don't eat. Our children will not get a decent education. We will lose the roof over our heads. Isn't this something our government should be helping us with instead of making it harder for us?

There is something terribly wrong with our country, with our government. It is not a cultural thing. It isn't even an issue of economics. It is a matter of service and justice, of equal treatment and equal opportunities. There is no public service here. Justice is delayed. No such thing as equal treatment and opportunities are only open to those who meet certain age, skills and school requirements.

A leader doesn't need to be a president to lead. A leader is someone who knows what is right for the people and what needs to be curbed if not uprooted from the beginning. A leader is not scared to speak his mind as his heart dictates and a leader is not ashamed of making mistakes and admitting to a fault. A leader should be humble and listens to those who speak their minds and hearts as well. What more a person who has been elected into power, holds an office that would open doors for change?

Ninoy and Cory both wanted the same thing - a better country for the Filipinos, run fairly and cleanly, honestly and transparently by equally honest and transparent people who have the innate sense of integrity to uphold the responsibilities of the office they occupy. Cory never wanted to become President and she said so herself. But look at the outpouring of love the minute Filipinos found out she was sick. The country lost a Father in August 21, 1983. The country lost its Mother August 1, 2009. The hole it leaves behind is unbearable to those who know the meaning of a better country, a better future for the people... something we all want for our children.

It is up to us to move, to act. To say something and not be scared to say it. To be at the forefront of any battle as long as we are on the side of truth, honesty and justice. A simple married couple with kids took up the fight for a better country because they knew it could be done and it could be achieved if we all pitched in to join the fight against corruption, complacency, greed and poverty. There are many sides, it is a matter of where those sides face. Do we face each other for the fight for a better country or do we stand against each other for the same cause? Bottom line, what do we want? We don't have Tita Cory and Tito Ninoy with us and we can only learn from the lessons they left us. Let us not fail them for in failing them, we fail our children and our grandchildren.

2009-07-13T23:27:00.001+08:00

It's Life. Deal with it.: What is it with Flapjacks?

2009-07-05T14:54:00.000+08:00

It's Life. Deal with it.: What is it with Flapjacks?

What is it with Flapjacks?

2009-07-05T14:38:00.006+08:00

I've often been asked what is it with you and Flapjacks?

There's a place in Greenbelt 2 park place named FLAPJACKS and its right beside Italianis. Its all orange with hints of different pastel shades of orange and they serve great american or continental dishes in huge servings. The place is a bit pricey for some but the serving amount says it all - its simply great. The food is fantastic. Its healthy and Flapjacks recently went "green" in the sense that their food hardly has processed ingredients in them, they use only fresh organic ingredients and its actually a balanced meal everytime even if its just one dish.

But its not all about food and prices. Why do I love hanging out at Flapjacks? The People who work at Flapjacks are diamonds to the industry.

There are several employees I want to make mention of and that's Dennis and Syd.

Dennis is usually "all smiles" to anyone who walks in and he never forgets a face. Even when you come across him at Greenbelt 3, he will remember who you are no matter how long the absence.

Syd on the other hand is a young mestiza type lady who will often greet you with such warmth and accords the same level of warmth to all customers who frequent Flapjacks. She is very polite but without the hint of being too patronizing, she's actually very sincere.

Flapjacks isn't "just" a place to eat - its a place where you and your friends can hang out, chill, have great brewed coffee, use their wifi, there's good pleasant music in the air, the people - the crew are not obnoxiously loud when they huddle unlike some places in Greenbelt where you'll hear the quips and complaints of servers even when there are guests inside the restaurant.

I like Flapjacks alot and I do recommend the place to anyone who wants to chill, hang out, work on something without being disturbed, or pestered or even feel like you need to continually order just to be allowed to stay. Flapjacks is my new found second home away from home and office, a sanctuary for me if I need to be alone with my thoughts and my writing.

Thanks Flapjacks! Thanks to Dennis and Syd for making me feel like "family".

CON ASS LOVERS.....

2009-06-03T22:23:00.003+08:00

Congress People who approved the CON ASS

ABANTE, BIENVENIDO M. "BENNY"
6TH District Pandacan

ABLAN, ROQUE R. JR,
Ilocos Norte, 1st District

AGBAYANI, VICTOR AGUEDO E.
Pangasinan, 2nd District

AGYAO, MANUEL, S
Kalinga Province

ALBANO (III), RODOLFO T.
Isabela, 1st District

ALFELOR, FELIX R. JR.
4th District, Camarines Sur

ALMARIO, THELMA Z.
Davao Oriental, 2nd District

ALVAREZ, ANTONIO C.
Palawan 1st District

ALVAREZ, GENARO RAFAEL M. JR.
Negros Occidental, 6th District

AMANTE, EDELMIRO A.
Agusan Del Norte, 2nd District

AMATONG, ROMMEL C.
Compostela Valley, 2nd District

ANGPING, MARIA ZENAIDA B.
Manila, 3rd District

ANTONINO, RODOLFO W.
Nueva Ecija, 4th District

APOSTOL, TRINIDAD G.
Leyte, 2nd District

AQUINO, JOSE S. (II)
1st District Agusan del Norte

ARAGO, MARIA EVITA R.
3rd district, Laguna

ARBISON, A MUNIR M.
Sulu 2nd District

ARENAS, MA. RACHEL J.
Pangasinan, 3rd District

ARROYO, DIOSDADO M.
Camarines Sur, 1st District

ARROYO, IGNACIO T.
5th district Negros Occidental

ARROYO, JUAN MIGUEL M.
2nd District of Pampanga

BAGATSING, AMADO S.
Manila 5th district

BALINDONG, PANGALIAN M.
Lanao del Sur, 2nd District

BARZAGA, ELPIDIO F. JR.
Cavite, 2nd District

BAUTISTA, FRANKLIN P.
Davao Del Sur, 2nd District

BELMONTE, VICENTE F. JR.
Lanao del Norte, 1st District

BICHARA, AL FRANCIS C.
Albay, 2nd District

BIRON, FERJENEL G.
Iloilo, 4th District

BONDOC, ANNA YORK P.
Pampanga 4th District

BONOAN-DAVID, MA. THERESA B.
Manila, 4th District

BRAVO, NARCISO R. JR.
Masbate, 1st District

BRIONES, NICANOR M.
AGAP Party list

BUHAIN, EILEEN ERMITA
Batangas, 1st District

BULUT, ELIAS C. JR.
Apayao Lone District

CAGAS (IV), MARC DOUGLAS C.
Davao Del Sur, 1st District

CAJAYON, MARY MITZI L.
Caloocan, 2nd District

CAJES, ROBERTO C.
Bohol, 2nd District

CARI, CARMEN L.
Leyte, 5th District

CASTRO, FREDENIL H.
Capiz, 2nd District

CELESTE, ARTHUR F.
Pangasinan, 1st District

CERILLES, ANTONIO H.
Zamboanga Del Sur, 2nd District

CHATTO, EDGARDO M.
Bohol, 1st District

CHONG, GLENN A.
Biliran, Lone District

CHUNG-LAO, SOLOMON R.
Ifugao, Lone District

CLARETE, MARINA C.
Misamis Occidental, 1st District

CODILLA, EUFROCINO M. SR.
Leyte, 4th District

COJUANCO, MARK O.
Pangasinan, 5th District

COQUILA, TEODULO M.
Eastern Samar, Lone District

CRISOLOGO, VINCENT P.
Quezon City, 1st District

CUA, JUNIE E.
Quirino, Lone District

CUENCO, ANTONIO V.
Cebu City, 2nd District

DANGWA, SAMUEL M.
Benguet, Lone District

DATUMANONG, SIMEON A.
Maguindanao, Lone District

Dayanghirang, Nelson L.
Davao Oriental, 1st District

DAZA, NANETTE C.
Quezon City, 4th District

DAZA, PAUL R.
Northern Samar, 1st District

DE GUZMAN, DEL R.
Marikina City, 2nd District

DEFENSOR, ARTHUR D. SR.
Iloilo, 3rd District

DEFENSOR, MATIAS V. JR.
Quezon City, 3rd District

DEL MAR, RAUL V.
Cebu City, 1st District

DIASNES, CARLO OLIVER D. (MD)
Batanes, Lone District

DIMAPORO, ABDULLAH D.
Lanao Del Norte, 2nd District

DOMOGAN, MAURICIO G.
Baguio, Lone District

DUAVIT, MICHAEL JOHN R.
Rizal, 1st District

DUENAS, HENRY M. JR.
Taguig, 2nd District (2nd Councilor District)

DUMARPA, FAYSAH MRP.
Lanao del Sur, 1st District

DUMPIT, THOMAS L. JR.
La Union, 2nd District

DURANO (IV), RAMON H.
5th District, Cebu

ECLEO, GLENDA B.
Dinagat Islands, Lone District

EMANO, YEVGENY VICENTE B.
Misamis Oriental, 2nd District

ENVERGA, WILFRIDO MARK M.
Quezon, 1st District

ESTRELLA, CONRADO M. (III)
Pangasinan, 6th District

ESTRELLA, ROBERT RAYMUND M.
ABONO Party List

FERRER, JEFFREY P.
Negros Occidental, 4th District

GARAY, FLORENCIO C.
Surigao Del Sur, 2nd District

GARCIA, ALBERT S.
Bataan, 2nd District.

GARCIA, PABLO JOHN F.
Cebu, 3rd District

GARCIA, PABLO P.
Cebu, 2nd District

GARCIA, VINCENT J.
Davao City, 2nd District

GARIN, JANETTE L.
Iloilo, 1st District

GATCHALIAN, REXLON T.
Valenzuela City, 1st District

GATLABAYAN, ANGELITO C.
Antipolo City, 2nd District

GO, ARNULFO F.
Sultan Kudarat, 2nd District

GONZALES, AURELIO D. JR.
Pampanga 3rd District

GONZALES, RAUL T. JR.
Ilo ilo City

GULLAS, EDUARDO R.
Cebu, 1st District

GUNIGUNDO, MAGTANGGOL T.
Valenzuela City 2nd District

HOFER, DULCE ANN K.
Zamboanga Sibugay, 2nd District

JAAFAR, NUR G.
Tawi-Tawi, Lone District

JALA, ADAM RELSON L.
Bohol, 3rd District

JALOSJOS, CESAR G.
Zamboanga del Norte, 3rd District

JALOSJOS-CARREON, CECILIA G.
Zamboanga del Norte, 1st District

JIKIRI, YUSOP H.
Sulu, 1st District

KHO, ANTONIO T.
Masbate, 2nd District

LABADLABAD, ROSENDO S.
Zamboanga del Norte, 2nd District

LACSON, JOSE CARLOS V.
Negros Occidental, 3rd District

LAGDAMEO, ANTONIO F. JR.
Davao del Norte, 2nd District

LAPUS, JECI A.
Tarlac, 3rd District

LAZATIN, CARMELO F.
Pampanga, 1st District

LIM, RENO G.
Albay, 3rd District

LOPEZ, JAIME C.
Manila, 2nd District

MADRONA, ELEANORA JESUS F.
Romblon, Lone District

MAGSAYSAY, MARIA MILAGROS H.
Zambales, 1st District

MALAPITAN, OSCAR G.
Caloocan, 1st District

MAMBA, MANUEL N.
Cagayan, 3rd District

MANGUDADATU, DATU PAKUNG S.
Sultan Kudarat,

MARANON, ALFREDO D. III
Negros Occidental, 2nd District

MATUGAS, FRANCISCO T.
Surigao del Norte, 1st District

MENDOZA, MARK LEANDRO L.
Batangas, 4th District

MERCADO, ROGER G.
Southern Leyte, Lone District

MIRAFLORES, FLORENCIO T.
Aklan, Lone District

NAVA, JOAQUIN CARLOS RAHMAN A. (MD)
Guimaras, Lone District

NICOLAS, REYLINA G.
Bulacan, 4th District

NOGRALES, PROSPERO C.
Davao City, 1st District

OLAñO, ARREL R.
Davao Del Norte, 1st District

ONG, EMIL L.
Northern Samar, 2nd District

ORTEGA, VICTOR FRANCISCO C.
La Union, 1st District

PABLO, ERNESTO C.
APEC Party List

PANCHO, PEDRO M.
Bulacan, 2nd District

PANCRUDO, CANDIDO P. JR.
Bukidnon, 1st District

PICHAY, PHILIP A.
Surigao Del Sur, 1st District

PIñOL, BERNARDO F. JR.
North Cotabato, 2nd District

PUNO, ROBERTO V.
Antipolo City, 1st District

RAMIRO, HERMINIA M.
Misamis Occidental, 2nd District

REMULLA, JESUS CRISPIN C.
Cavite, 3rd District

REYES, CARMELITA O.
Marinduque, Lone District

REYES, VICTORIA H.
Batangas, 3rd District

ROBES, ARTURO G.
San Jose Del Monte City, Lone District

Rodriguez-Zaldarriaga, Adelina
Rizal, 2nd District

ROMAN, HERMINIA B.
Bataan, 1st District

ROMARATE, GUILLERMO A. JR.
Surigao del Norte, 2nd District

ROMUALDEZ, FERDINAND MARTIN G.
Leyte, 1st District

ROMUALDO, PEDRO
Camiguin, Lone District

ROMULO, ROMAN T.
Pasig City, Lone District

ROXAS, JOSE ANTONIO F.
Pasay City

SALIMBANGON, BENHUR L.
Cebu, 4th District

SALVACION JR., ANDRES D.
Leyte, 3rd District

SAN LUIS, EDGAR S.
Laguna, 4th District

SANDOVAL, ALVIN S.
Malabon-Navotas, Lone District

SANTIAGO, JOSEPH A.
Catanduanes, Lone District

SANTIAGO, NARCISO D. (III)
ARC Party List

SEACHON-LANETE, RIZALINA L.
3rd district of Masbate

SEARES-LUNA, CECILIA M.
Abra, Lone District

SILVERIO, LORNA C.
Bulacan, 3rd District

SINGSON, ERIC D.
Ilocos Sur, 2nd District

SINGSON, RONALD V.
Ilocos Sur, 1st District

SOLIS, JOSE G.
Sorsogon, 2nd District

SOON-RUIZ, NERISSA CORAZON
Cebu, 6th District

SUAREZ, DANILO E.
Quezon, 3rd District

SUSANO, MARY ANN L.
Quezon City, 2nd District

SY-ALVARADO, MA. VICTORIA R.
Bulacan, 1st District

SYJUCO, JUDY J.
2nd Dsitrict, Iloilo

TALINO-MENDOZA, EMMYLOU J.
North Cotabato, 1st District

TAN, SHAREE ANN T.
Samar, 2nd District

TEODORO, MARCELINO R.
Marikina City, 1st District

TEODORO, MONICA LOUISSE PRIETO
Tarlac, 1st District

TEVES, PRYDE HENRY A.
Negros Oriental, 3rd District

TUPAS, NEIL C. JR.
Iloilo, 5th District

UNGAB, ISIDRO T.
Davao City, 3rd District

UY, EDWIN C.
Isabela, 2nd District

UY, REYNALDO S.
Samar, 1st District

UY, ROLANDO A.
Cagayan De Oro City, Lone District

VALDEZ, EDGAR L.
APEC Party List

VALENCIA, RODOLFO G.
Oriental Mindoro, 1st District

VARGAS, FLORENCIO L.
Cagayan, 2nd District

VILLAFUERTE, LUIS R.
Camarines Sur, 2nd District

VILLAROSA, MA. AMELITA C.
Occidental Mindoro, Lone District

VIOLAGO, JOSEPH GILBERT F.
Nueva Ecija, 2nd District

YAP, JOSE V.
Tarlac, 2nd District

YU, VICTOR J.
Zamboanga Del Sur, 1st District

ZAMORA, MANUEL E.
1st District, Compostela Valley

ZIALCITA, EDUARDO C.
Parañaque, 1st District

Remember them come next elections and DON'T VOTE FOR THEM.

LESSON IN DISCRIMINATION

2009-05-19T20:16:00.005+08:00

To those of us who commute to and from work, who walk into Merville, walk within Merville and walk to adjacent subdivisions outside of Merville - you might get a RUDE surprise from the security detail posted at gates 1,2,3 and 4 of Merville Park subdivision.

It seems that without any previous notice to satellite subdivisions and villages such as Buena Vida, residents on foot/ resident pedestrians or whatever term is used to describe residents who walk - will be stopped at these gates and asked who you are, where you live, etc, etc. And you will also be asked to present an MPHA ID to identify yourself as a "resident" of the village you belong to. IF YOU ARE UNABLE to present an MPHA ID at gates 2, 3 and 4, you're supposed to take a tricycle to get home especially if you're walking back from South Admiral Village or Gate 4 near Amsterdam Street.

The same process happens at Gate 1. They'll stop you, ask you where you live, who you are and ask for identification. What's the beef with this? Here goes.... a walk down memory lane.

There used to be a time when residents from Molave, Inland and Buena Vida - coming home in a cab/taxi - was stopped and asked at gate 1 and when you tell them where you lived - they'd tell your taxi driver to take gate 2 instead because gate 1 was ONLY FOR RESIDENTS of Merville until residents from the same 3 villages complained because it increased the taxi fare by almost P10 cris-crossing through the streets from Gate 2 to Buena Vida when gate 1 was the most accessible and most economical way to get home in a cab. Residents complained and this inconsiderate practice was stopped.

There used to be a time wherein several of our UNIT OWNERS walked out of Gate 1 to buy newspapers or fruits at the nearby stores and coming back - they were stopped at Gate 1 and were asked to present an MPHA ID, in short - they were mistaken for household employees. Of course it was totally UNHEARD OF to get an MPHA ID just to certify you were a resident of Buena Vida or Molave or Inland because it is NOT MPHA's responsibility and prerogative to issue residents of satellite subdivisions the SAME ID given to maids, drivers and workers - not to be "matapobre" about it but there was NO OTHER ID being issued by MPHA except that to begin with at that time.

Of course, the most natural reaction would be to be insulted, disgusted and down right indignant. One would say - I am a resident of Barangay Merville and no one has the right to keep me out of my own home. Not even Barangay Merville issues IDs to certify residency, not then, not even today. They'll give you a piece of paper but other than that - these are only required to get business licenses, marriage contracts, etc. BUT NOT to certify your residency and ownership of property within any village within Barangay Merville.... but MPHA will "insist" that you get their ID or they'll make it hard for you to go home.

One BV resident had to drive to Gate 1 just to pick up her brother who was detained at gate 1 at 10PM simply because he didn't have an MPHA ID and was wearing khaki shorts and flip flops. Another BV resident who owns a steel company decided to go walking one morning and was rudely detained at Gate 1 and was "talked down to" as if she was someones "alila" even after she showed them her driver's license. She was able to enter and went straight to the MPHA office and demanded for some one's head and blood. Anyone would.

There are several horror stories of discrimination and total stupidity but the most recent one happened yesterday evening.

A resident's 13 year old daughter walked out of Gate 2 going to South Admiral Village to visit friends. On her way back at 8PM, she was stopped and detained at Gate 2, refused entry even after she called up her mother on her cellphone, gave it to the guard and the guard still refused to let the 13 year old enter. The guard at Gate 2 told the mother that her daughter needs to call a tricycle to pick her up from South Admiral just to be able to return home to Buena Vida but they will NOT allow her to enter on foot. Due to load problems, the line was cut. The mother of course, called up a tricycle and went to fetch her daughter who was standing at gate 2 in the presence of two guards who were fully armed with shot guns. Her daughter's friends did not want to leave her alone there since in between the two gates (South Ad Gate and Gate 2) is an empty lot even if its beside the barangay hall. Totally livid, the mother confronted the guard and guard simply stated that its the rule and regulation of MPHA, even brandished the (loaded) shotgun in front of the mother.

Now I ask you - as parents - what if your daughter had no load to call home? What if your daughter had no money on her to call a tricycle (P30++ special trips) to come fetch her to get home? What if both parents were not home and still at work? BV to gate 2 is a 10 minute walk. The guards at Gate 2 did not even bother to radio gate 1 to send a tricyle to gate 2 to MAKE SURE the kid got home safe. The Guard at gate 2 even refused to talk to the mother on the cellphone telling the daughter "HINDI KO PROBLEMA YAN HA! Problema mo kung paano ka uuwi!" Thats the way they value the lives of people who live in Barangay Merville.. a 13 year old girl at that.

These are the type and kind of security guards of MPHA. Command responsibility - this is the kind of mentality of those who order these guards around. How is she going to be able to go home if they would not let her in on foot and they didn't want to radio for a tricycle at gate 1? Any parent would be fuming mad because these kids safely walked to and from BV to South Admiral, to any other adjacent village without getting this kind of harassment. It seems that even kids from other satellite villages are no longer allowed to enter Merville unless driven, or on board a Merville tricycle.

Now, what if you're walking to attend mass at HIJ? The SAME THING will happen to you, only no one has complained yet because this is a "new" policy. Its a rehash of their (MPHA) discriminating attitudes towards residents of satellite subdivisions. Even bicycles are required to get a P300 MPHA sticker if you live outside of Merville Park. Teenagers from other villages are not even allowed to join the summer league, it has become an exclusive Merville function. So much for inter-village friendship and relations.

We paid right of way fees when Buena Vida was "born". We follow their rules and policies on stickers and they've never had problems with BV residents when it came to supporting their causes - Anti-Air Pollution, Anti-Noise Pollution, Clean Barangay Movement, Maintaining the new Access road. We rallied alongside them demanding for a roll back on SLEX fees, we honked our horns with them in protest. We were first in calling the fire department for help and assistance when a plane landed on one of their houses. We patronize the businesses within Merville because its convenient even if its expensive. I can cite numerous ways wherein Buena Vida helped, supported and cooperated with MPHA and they do this to our children?

On top of such a discriminating historicals between satellite subdivisions and MPHA, they will impose but will not give you a solution. They will not even offer an option nor offer decent help.

Would it be wise to call for a total boycott of all Merville Businesses?
Would it be prudent to not allow non Buena Vida residents/ brokers to lease out OUR units and keep the commission within BV residents or association?
Would it be wise to call for a boycott of the P20 per unit charge for the use of a government owned road?
Would it be wise to boycott their events and a refusal to purchase tickets of events sponsored by MPHA or events that will be held inside Merville?
Would it be normal to propose a refusal of entry to Merville residents into Buena Vida even if its just to visit, scout for houses, guests in our pool and clubhouse?
Would it be wise to demand for the proper use of our "right of way" as homeowners of Buena Vida?

I cannot offer an answer. It is up to each and everyone to choose and decide.

Personally, I choose to protest and boycott everything and anything "Merville" for what they did to my daughter. I refuse to get an MPHA ID for my family just to be identified as a resident of Buena Vida. It is an insult and down right discrimination of my rights as a resident of Barangay Merville. They traumatized my 13 year old brandishing a shot gun in her face and refusing to offer polite assistance to her to help her get home!

I am sending this out that you all may be forewarned of what will happen within the next few days if this MPHA policy continues. If MPHA doesn't even have the decency and courtesy to inform satellite subdivisions BEFORE they implement such ridiculous rules and regulations, then that speaks volumes of the kind of mentality that prevails in Merville Park. Lesson in discrimination? Walk at your own risk into Merville.

Regards and God Bless.

Jenifer C. Aquino-Xavier
Director / BVHA
PROUD TO BE A RESIDENT OF BUENA VIDA HOMES.

Total Lack of Appreciation

2009-04-11T09:58:00.006+08:00

There are some people I know who have a total lack of appreciation for what they have. They often focus on what others have rather than what they already own and enjoy. They often think they are second best if not beggars and vagrants compared to other people. Their insecurities revolve around material things rather than the real things that matter the most. And its sad how these people will not listen to anyone else except their own sordid ideas and beliefs and act as if the entire world owed them. That we are even lucky to even be breathing the same air they are breathing.
Well, no more. I am really sick and tired of people - no matter how close they are related to me - who act as if I owe them a debt of gratitude for them being in my life. People often tell me I should look into the problem, attend to it, focus on it, maybe she just needs a little bit more attention from me - well frankly - I've had enough. And if anyone calls me a bad person for feeling the way I do, then I am the worse of the lot and I have enough basis to feel the way I do.
The nerve of her to disrespect me inside my own house, to curse me and call me names inside my own house - she's lucky she's still living under the same roof and eating. She's lucky we still consider her a part of this family even if she has endlessly maligned and slandered our names with her petty excuses. Oh yes, they are petty. Petty compared to other people who have far worse problems than she does and all she cares about is her image, her reputation which is already nothing, she is envious of other people whom she thinks have better material things than she does and she will not learn to appreciate what she has right now.
To her I am totally sad and disgusted at the same time. I am sick and tired of her drama queen behaviour and her attitude of owning us and this house, that she can do as she damn well please, call her parents names and curse them. I have every right to tell her to leave this house and I will not be the sorrier for it. She has threatened us both physically and emotionally and I have had enough of it. I prefer not to have her in this house anymore than for her to continuously terrorize everyone with her antics and her endless pointless melodramatic insane attitude of being queen and that we are her loyal servants. No more.

Her presence in this house casts a dark shadow in all areas of the house and no one wants to be near her or even talk to her. She has the nerve to use the things we use without so much as a question and yet she is rude to the bone but she will demand that she be given the right to use our personal things - like she's the only one with the right to use them even if the things are not hers to begin with.

I need not dwell on her stupidity and cover ups. She covers up for her blunders with her melodramatic antics and if she says she will kill herself one more time, it would be the 6Th or 7Th time I would have heard about it in a 5 year period. My thoughts on that? What the hell are you waiting for? Go ahead and give us some peace and quiet. We deserve better from the likes of you and you don't deserve what you have. I have a mind of throwing out all your things and burn them and let's see who has more and who has none. Let's see if you begin to learn to show some appreciation for what you are given and what you've earned. So far, what have you done to earn anything from us? We might have obligations to you but you have your share of duties and responsibilities towards us which you have failed miserably to fulfill and yet you still expect us to give with nothing in return from you even the mere respect for us? If you can't learn to show some respect, don't expect it from us. Respect is earned, it is not demanded or ransomed.

You think I would get my conscience remotely bothered should you decide to make good on your threat? No. It would not bother me a bit. I will not even miss you. Because you are already dead to me for all the times you have wished me dead all because of load, of permissions to party on school days, clothes, shoes - all your petty material perks and even your own siblings. Just because I said no to your inane stupidity you wished me dead so many times - well I've got news for you - I hope you suffer what you wish for because frankly my dear - I don't give a damn. You can drop dead for all I care also.

Put THAT on your FACEBOOK NOTE!

2009-03-15T16:52:00.003+08:00

What is happening to the world? It's like everyone's going out of control, everyone wants to rule, everyone wants to be number 1, everyone wants a piece of the action.... and for what? Greed? Power? Survival of the fittest?

Can't we all just shut up and be still, set all differences aside and just try to live with one another for EVERYONE to survive?

Twilight's Mystic

2008-12-18T11:13:00.001+08:00

4:23 PM 12/17/2008

I just went through 2 of 4 books of Twilight in less than 5 days making this the fastest book-reading feat I've ever done in my entire reading life. I just took a break and I plan to start reading the 3rd book "Eclipse" in a few hours. It isn't nice to read a book at twilight time - it isn't dark but it isn't bright as well.

And I'm checking my emails going through a list of things to do, talking to my girlfriend on the phone from LA and when she signs off it sort of hits me why "Twilight" has made such an impact on people and probably why its so popular. After two books, I realized I was transported into another world.

A world wherein the possibility of "good vampires" does exist as well as werewolves loving human beings and protecting us from "bad vampires". I have no illusions to what is reality from fiction. I am faced with my own set of realities on a daily basis. But in the few hours I got so immersed in the story, I honestly wanted the fiction to be real. Not about vampires and werewolves roaming the streets - not that part. But the part that a man or a vampire at that - could actually love one woman so much it absorbs him so much to a point it takes over and controls him.

That kind of love is no longer real in this world we live in and if it were, maybe its in Forks. But definitely not within the immediate vicinity nor locality.

And it also hits me that people are probably reacting to "Twilight's" mystic unconsciously because of that longing to find the "one" person who can erase everything else except themselves, nothing else matters except them. Very seldom have I met couples who can get "that" immersed with each other that nothing else can bother them. I guess a lot of people just want what Bella and Edward found - each other, the other half of each others soul... if vampire's do have souls.

But on the other hand - has reality become too bleak that normal human beings can't find that kind of intense love with another human being anymore? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe that kind of love only exists in stories like "Twilight" and people react to it as wildly because it echoes the same needs, we all have our own thirsts to quench. It takes a vampire story to show humans the real essence of true love. Funny, but its true. And we are all still in search of the other half of our soul.

Disillusionment

2008-07-24T10:14:00.002+08:00

Its so funny to wake up one day and realize you've been taken for a wild ride. The reactions vary from sadness to anger to just plain out feeling very insulted.

Now I won't feel sorry for myself for allowing myself to be taken for a ride. Things happen, it was not a bad thing to trust people. Maybe there are less people in the world you can trust given how the world is turning out to become.

Do I come across as a desperate housewife who takes on scraps in order to survive? I just want to be financially independent, I'm not a total indigent.

I had plans a few months back. Plans that were ironed out to the T. I already had a budget to work with, and it was just a matter of waiting for the right opportunity, I knew I'd reach the goal I set for myself. Then something else came along and all the plans I laid out for myself went haywire. I gave it a lot of thought and even made a pro-con list just to make sure I was changing my well laid out plans for a better one. Given that matrix, I let go of all the previous plans I made for a new one.

Today, I regret having changed those plans. What did I lose in the process? Opportunity to earn for the length of time I was made to wait. The opportunity meant a year-long term of secured employment with perks you can't refuse. What are those perks? I could work and be near my children at the same time. I lived where I worked and even if it isn't as glamorous as corporate life, I could run the systems with my eyes closed. It was something I loved doing and I woke up everyday looking forward to going to an office that was four doors down the road where I lived. Even with the load of work, I enjoyed it tremendously. I was also free to take on projects whenever there was an opportunity because I enjoy being creative, earning from it was a perk. All of that - gone, never to be regained. That opportunity was given to someone else because I turned it down for the sake of the other opportunity offered.

I have a "to-do" and "to-buy" list. That list required immediate employment. As in "immediate" employment. The opportunity I lost could have settled those two lists in less than 2 weeks. I was made to wait more than 3 weeks earning nothing, doing nothing but wait. I was given the impression approvals were obtained prior to the offer only to find out the cart was placed before the horse. My hands were tied, so were my feet. I followed the requirements and waited patiently and silently. Until eventually, I lost my patience, trust and belief in that opportunity. My personal time-lines could not wait. I could not wait. I waited long enough. Because had I took on the first plan and stuck with it, I would not be a burden to friends and family. But now I am. All because I trusted someone who could not even give me the courtesy to personally inform me for the reasons for the delays.

Now burning bridges is not in my vocabulary. But there's always a first time for everything. I've always been a forgiving soul, a very patient understanding person. But not when I've been taken for a ride.

I don't know if my personal reasons for being so disillusioned is logical or even understandable but they are my reasons and the worst part of it, my capacity and ability to earn steadily has been affected very badly because its gone. So what now? I no longer have any faith in that opportunity I turned my life upside down for. I placed my life on hold for what? I lost my best laid out plans for what?

And I cannot even vent about it? I'm way beyond upset. I am way beyond disgust. I feel very very insulted. I feel very very disillusioned. I feel very very bad that I've been sick in the stomach for a week already. Friendship is out the window. I have no friends when it comes to what they've done or failed to do negatively affects my life on the long term basis. I can forgive a fault, a mistake. But not deception and dishonesty. None disclosure of the real status is dishonesty. Making me believe I could start immediately is deception.

But heck, I'm just a desperate housewife taking scraps to survive right?

Yeah right.

When being nice becomes a bother

2008-06-19T10:44:00.002+08:00

Ever wonder why people nowadays can't even find time to be nice to one another anymore? Is a smile that expensive as gas? Its like when we're faced with other things other than those we prioritize - we turn into monsters and growl at the first person who comes near us.

I'm currently involved in two groups - one from the past and one in my current and possibly future as well. I look at both groups and I have to admit - I am disappointed with one, disillusioned with the other.

The one I am disappointed with fails to realize that our past and those who affected our past makes us who we are today. I told a friend of mine just recently - we owe a debt of life from our parents. But we owe a debt of knowledge and wisdom from our teachers. Unless of course we don't have any intelligence or wisdom to speak of. Or we have a pea-sized brain.

The one I am disillusioned with is something I will have to deal with on a daily basis. Things need to get done, arguments need to be settled but people are so frustrated about certain issues, they simply won't back off and let things get done. And arguments fall on top of each other until finally some thing's going to give. All because of a simple act of acknowledgment that went undone. Isn't that what we all crave for at some point in time? To know that we are acknowledged and heard? That someone actually took the time to listen? To help? To lend a helping hand?

In both cases, who we are as a person comes into play. what we are as human beings comes into light. In both groups, I discovered that some people avoid the sensitive side of life like illness and people in need. Nothing is discussed or the topic is totally avoided. I discovered that when confrontations arise, all diplomacy is out the window and arguments are dragged out into the open. You have those left standing continuing the argument where no one wins and you have those who make a formal goodbye telling everyone to grow up and leaves the forum. From a bird's point of view - are the arguments even worth the aggravation? Am I going to finally conclude that majority of human beings on this planet are not humane? That human beings are such petty creatures? Aren't we on this planet for more important issues? Aren't we supposed to take care of each other and not go for each other's throats?

Chaos is the weapon of choice of the devil. Out of chaos comes such conflicts that in context - is as petty as a baby's behind. Life was supposed to be simple. If there's someone in need - help. You don't need to bleed to help, just help with whatever you feel comfortable to give. If there's a problem - sit down and discuss it like humane human beings. Insults and underhand jibes are uncalled for and keep the issues in plain sight. Everything on this planet can be settled with decent conversation and patience for each other instead of never ending heated debates on who caused what to whom and what was not done etc etc etc... it will never end until someone stands up and tells them to shut up. On the other hand, some people just don't know when to stop. They insist that people are entitled to their opinion and anyone else's opinion does not count. Some people think that just because they've reached the apex of their career, they can do as they damn well please. So when will conflicts and misunderstandings end? It won't. Majority witnesses to such conflicts just reach for the remote and turn to another channel.

All because no acknowledgment and spare time was given. We ignore what's right. We do what we are comfortable with. We prefer the comfort zones we have enclosed ourselves in. We would rather not get involved in anything that adds to our daily grind in life. We think we can live alone until shit hits the fan and hits us when we least expect it. And then we look outside for someone to blame.

Funny how life can show people in their true light and color and its sad to see that majority of the human beings on earth are not remotely humane even to their own kind.

What's with kids nowadays?

2008-06-12T14:24:00.002+08:00

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Whats with the kids nowadays?

http://jennyaquino.blogs.friendster.com/jennys_own/

Any parent today would be wondering silently what's with the kids nowadays? Parents avoid verbally comparing themselves with their kids but let's be honest about it. Were you at that age, as hard-headed and as stubborn as your kid today? Were you at that age, as ungrateful and self-centered as your kid today? Were you at that age, as studious and as diligent as your kid today? Were you ever as materialistic as kids nowadays are?

Well I'm one mother who won't keep quiet about it. Kids nowadays think they're the lowest member of the mammal family simply because their cellphone models are "old" compared to the other kids. They think that just because you work and pay for so many things, you have enough to go around to shoulder every whim they have. They complain about clothes, shoes, allowance, their cellphones, use of the computer, load, their playmates, their boyfriends, their friends, their teachers, their school buses, their commute home, their lives!!!

They think you owe them your life on earth and that you wouldn't be who you are today if it weren't for them and they're just kids!!! They emotionally blackmail parents into getting what they want even if it's more than an inconvenience on the parent already.

Let's get real here - we parents can't be "there" for them all the time whether we like it or not! We also have our own lives to focus on or else we all go crazy because of these kids on top of all the other problems we're having right now. But these kids - they just won't let up. They'll take your hand, your arm and legs, your neck and your head, your stomach and your soul and still - you miss on one flimsy stupid party they need to go to - you're the worst mother on earth! Yeah sure.

They complain about their "measly" allowance - do they even know what budget means? If you give them what they need, they won't stop complaining because they can't learn to budget their own allowance. They compare their "pathetic" plights with their siblings expecting their siblings to have less on the basis of seniority - grow up okay??

It doesn't matter if you're in college or high school - there's no difference in expenses anymore nowadays and stop whining about how "small" your allowance was at that age and grade. Cost of things have tripled if not quadrupled in the last 6 years and if you were getting P50 then, if your sister is getting 80 NOW at the same grade level - that's inflation at it's simplest terms. A decent meal in ANY SCHOOL today would cost 60-80 a plate, you expect us to give your sister less than that? Grow up.

I have a mind of taking away every damn equipment you both have to teach you both a hard lesson in "starvation". I'll take away your mp3 players, your cellphones, your school allowance and then I'll take away the internet connection, the cable connection and your school bus and commuting fare and lets see if you both learn some lesson in "how poor" you really are. I'll force you both to take on part-time jobs so that you'll learn how hard it is to work and study at the same time! I'll send the maids away and I'll make you do your own laundry, cook your own meals, clean up your own mess, iron your own clothes and let's see if you don't learn to appreciate the hard work of the maids you complain about day in and day out! Because I won't do it for you. I have better things to do than do hard labor while the rest of you complain about gimmicks and allowances.

Ungrateful - that's how I see kids nowadays. No appreciation whatsoever for anything but themselves. These kids go to good schools, one is even in a college for free yet what do we get from all of that? Bullshit complaints. Instead of focusing on the ONLY THING we as parents ask for - what do they focus on? Parties on weekends? Gimmicks on weekends? And we're supposed to support even that? I'm sorry to break your bubble - but if you don't focus on plain studying and doing well in school - you don't get anything period. You can't even appreciate the food on the table, the clothes on your back, all the stupid things you enjoy from shampoo to soap, to shoes and slippers you change like crazy.

So what if you used to get hand-me-down second hand dresses? Do you even know how many children in this world don't have a change of clothes to wear because they're so poor?

So what if the instant pancit canton isn't the flavor you want? Do you know how many people in this world don't eat in weeks simply because there's no food at all?

So what if your allowance isn't enough to help you "save" for your stupid vices and gimmicks and all the other lame excuses you give us? Do you know how many children want to go to school they WALK 5 kilometers barefoot just to get there? How many children study with just candlelight because they KNOW THE VALUE of being educated? How many teenagers your age are out on the streets doing drugs, getting raped, with no roof over their heads, no clothes to wear, no parents to tend to them and no decent food to eat except rummaging through a garbage bin for some spoiled food to feed themselves?

If you both cannot appreciate what you already have and expect us to cry tears of blood just to give you more than what we can afford to - I'm sorry. But I won't bleed myself dry for your stupid spoiled attitudes. Learn some appreciation, gratitude, responsibility, understanding and sympathy for your life and your parents first if you expect us to even do more than what we are already doing right now.

If that makes me the worst mother you think on this earth - then deal with it. Do you both even know how many times you've hurt your own parents simply because you're both too self-centered to even notice your parents are already miserable? If you didn't notice, well then I'm telling you now - we're not happy and you're both partly to blame for that because you can't even learn to be sisters to each other and good daughters to us!!

Oh and please don't tell me to be a good mother first okay? THAT doesn't work on me anymore. You're not 4 years old anymore.

You're both in your teens... Grow up and act like one.

Speak now or forever hold the microphone.......

2008-04-29T23:33:00.002+08:00

Isn't it amazing that we write down our thoughts and it gets 'frozen' in time on the internet. As long as you have a blog that you can put your thoughts on to - you either get read by other browsers or you can choose to keep it private. Its wonderful.
I believe that people should learn how to share their ideas with the intent to help other people and hopefully influence change - a change for the better. Its sad if you keep your well intended thoughts all to yourself - your ideas might just help save a few lives or even brighten up someone's day.

Karma

2008-04-17T11:04:00.003+08:00

Karma - as simply described - is what returns to you when you do either good or bad. If you do something good, something good will also happen to you and vice versa. Good begets good, bad begets bad. That's the circle of fate.

Karma - as it is usually used -is what you are warned about just when you are about to do something bad... even if you think your reasons are right. Same goes when you do something right for the wrong reasons. Its not a balanced situation and the ways do not justify the means.

Karma - in reality - doesn't happen immediately. Sometimes it never happens at all. Circumstances surrounding our day to day lives are 80% influenced by external situations and people, 20% is made by our decision making faculties. The saying "we are the results of a decision" is implicitly true to a point. Regardless of the influences - it is still a decision that makes us who we are, what we are, how we are and where we are at this moment in time. No one can be blamed for our current circumstance except ourselves because we made a decision that led to it some where in time, some where in the past.

If we say "I never saw this coming" - you can't blame anyone for that matter because when we make decisions - how far into the future do we consider the decisions we are about to make in the "now"?

I mentioned that 80% of the time, external forces influence our decisions. That true. Because we take into consideration how our decisions will affect other people, if our decisions will benefit more than just a few, and we weigh the consequences and see if there are more 'fatalities' over 'survivors'. Of course, being humans and humane - we choose the lesser of the two evils even if it will adversely affect our own destiny... ending up as fatalities of our own misguided decisions. So its like saying you made the right decisions for the wrong reasons... or the wrong decisions for the right reasons ... and we usually end up being the ones regretting those decisions we made.

So now what? If you're in a sordid situation you're having a hard time getting out of - make a decision for YOURSELF and no one else. Of course there will be people caught in the crossfire but you're already a fatality here - are you going to bury yourself as well? If the decision you need to make will benefit both you and a lot of other people - then make that decision. If your decision will hurt more people than you, then its not a good one. But right or wrong - in both areas - you as well as other people should come out untouched by the consequences of your decisions. As painful as it is to make decisions that alter the course of a person's life - the question remaining is - is it going to do more good than harm to them? Because any decent human being will not harm another person just for the heck of it. Nor would they harm an innocent just to prove a point. But if that person doesn't have an ounce of decency - then we all know what the answer will be. There will be fatalities and there will be a lot of innocent people caught in the crossfire... after which you will know the true nature of the person who caused so much pain and harm in the long term... selfish, ego-centric and vain... with no regard for anyone else except his own personal satisfactions and comfort.

Check this out

2008-04-13T12:38:00.001+08:00

http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/letterstotheeditor/view/20080412-129895/Shepherds-lost-in-quagmire-of-corruption

Why should one NOT get married [Part 3]

2008-04-13T12:20:00.001+08:00

PREGNANCY

When a woman gets pregnant, there are only two reactions – happiness and depression. Happiness comes in when a baby is really needed or demanded by both parties. When we say both parties – we don’t mean the parents of the husband and wife; but by both the husband and the wife. Because they are the only ones who’ll know “it is time” to have kids. No amount of badgering from in laws should force a couple to have kids when they themselves are not ready for it.

Depression sets in when a woman starts to realize what’s in store for her for the next 9 months and the several years to follow after delivery. Especially for women who are not expecting to get pregnant or those who are not prepared to be pregnant yet. It isn’t like you’re buying a pet from the pet store that you can choose the breed and specie of the pet you want.

Having a child calls for totally forgetting one’s self and sacrificing your own agenda for the next several years until the child is old enough to attend school. That would mean that a woman has no personal agenda of her own for the next 4-6 years. And even when the child goes to school, a woman will still not have enough time for herself since she has to monitor and attend to the child through its studies and upbringing in the school atmosphere.

The thought of losing the little amount of freedom can be depressing to a woman although most men and people would think her crazy or strange to be depressed when she’s pregnant. In any marriage, time for one’s self is vital since it gives the woman time to regenerate and recharge fatigued muscles and emotions and get some peace of mind even for just 2-3 hours a day. A newborn baby will take all that away from her whether people around her debate it or not. The pregnancy alone is an experience only a handful of women find sincerely wonderful while most women keep silent about their inner most opinions for fear of being criticized by relatives or in laws and friends.

Those marriage seminars will never discuss pregnancy in detail but generalities. You have sex, you get pregnant, you carry the baby to full term and you deliver normally or by c-section at the end of the 9-month term. Easy, right? No. No one will tell you about the first trimester when all you can do in the morning is throw up because it’s the “craving” period.

On the first trimester, you’ll have cravings. You’ll have morning sickness as well or when you simply throw up at the oddest things like smells food and perfume. Some women become bedridden during the first three months and doctors call it a difficult pregnancy, as if the entire procedure wasn’t difficult enough and family make you feel it’s your fault you have a difficult pregnancy.

On the second trimester, your stomach starts to bulge. Your breasts become painful and hard, sometimes too tender to even wear a bra. The stomach’s skin starts to stretch and marks appear. This can easily be erased after birth if you religiously apply expensive skin lotion to provide for its suppleness or else you get ugly stretch marks after you give birth. On the sixth month, the baby will start kicking from the inside and some women find the experience wonderful or exciting. Most women start visiting a doctor on the second month and this will become a monthly ritual until you give birth. Ultrasound will be performed each time to monitor the baby’s heart rate. You’ll undergo a series of tests to find out if the baby will be deformed or to find out if your body is sustaining enough nutrients to suffice for both you and the baby. In a nutshell – your diet is monitored. Your physical activity becomes limited. If you have a husband who prefers sexy women in bed, forget about having sex even after 2 months after you’ve given birth. It simply isn’t done. Husbands like these should be made to sleep in another room or in his parent’s house since he got you pregnant in the first place then he prefers to have a sexy bed partner.

It is seldom to find a husband who’ll love you and reassure you of his feelings even if you’re deformed and bloating from pregnancy. The rarest find and a treasure to behold is to find a man who’ll find a pregnant woman sexy and appealing and actually have better sex with his wife than before she got pregnant.

For first time mothers – it isn’t harmful for the baby to have sex until the second trimester or until your doctor tells you to stop. It is reassuring for the mother therefore reassures the baby as well. A stressed out pregnant mother is NOT a good pregnancy mood. It isn’t good for the baby as well because the baby will feel it. Sex during pregnancy is better for both partners because it affirms their love for one another. But if the husband just performs sex with her to pass off his urges, it would be better if the couple did not have sex at all unless the pregnant woman starts feeling used.

Making love and having “just” sex is really different from the other. And it is totally unfair for the pregnant woman to be used because it adds to her growing insecurity. Pregnancy will make a woman feel insecure at some point. It isn’t a bad case of vanity but it isn’t also pleasant to watch one’s body bloat and become deformed as each day passes. To add to the insecurity is a husband who can’t even make love properly to his wife during this time or a husband who just totally stops touching her for one reason or another.

Towards the end of the second trimester and the start of the last trimester, it will be difficult to stand up straight. There will be difficulty in just about everything a woman needs to do like simply bending or sitting. Breathing becomes labored and she will always be short of breath. Her limbs become bloated because of the accumulated liquid in the body. Her hands and feet grow twice their normal size and sometimes, dark patches of skin appear around the neck, armpits and panty lines. By this time, she will hardly even see her feet since her stomach is now bulging drastically. The kicking becomes more frequent and there will be trouble controlling your urination processes. You tend to run to the toilet more often than usual. Standing up for a long period of time becomes difficult and a simple car ride becomes traumatic for a pregnant woman. Because it rattles her body, it rattles the baby. Back pains will start to bother her. Her stomach’s skin will be so stretched that vein lines begin to show up. These are either green or blue vein lines from the breasts to the stomach wall. Sleeping will also become difficult because you cannot lie on your back unless you want to cut your breathing while you’re sleeping. You have to lie on one side with a high pillow on your head and a pillow between your legs as well since your thighs can’t meet anymore.

When “the day” comes for you to deliver – if you’re going to deliver normally, you’ll suffer contractions and spasms every 5 minutes to about 2 minute intervals until your hip bones expand. The nurses and doctors will monitor your bone expansion from hourly to every 30 minutes to 10-minute intervals depending on how fast you hip bones expand to give way for the baby. Some women have labor pains and contractions from 4 hours to 24 hours. If this is your first baby, it will take a long time for your bones to expand. Some women average to 12 –18 hours before their bones expand. And all these hours – you’ll be suffering from excruciating pain every 2-5 minutes. You won’t be allowed to take water during this time. And where will your husband be during these hours? Probably computing how much he’ll have to pay for given the amount of time you’re spending at the delivery room.

It is no longer a practice in hospitals to let the husband join in the delivery unless the couple is certified Lamaze graduates. This is because most men faint the minute the baby comes out and some times, the hospital bill doubles since the husband hit his head on a trolley or on the floor on his way down. So much for their participation in the delivery room. But this policy of not making these men see first hand how a woman suffers delivering his baby is totally unfair and sexist. They were there when the baby was being made and they did have a good time making the baby. So why should they be absent when the pain and the suffering comes in? It isn’t exclusively a woman’s role to suffer while they have all the fun and they don’t even see first hand the delivery of what they helped make.

After a baby is delivered, the mother usually suffers from post-partum syndrome. Some psychiatrists attend to newly delivered mothers because women who just gave birth usually feel bad and depressed because of the hardship of the procedure. And after nine months of carrying a child in her belly, she deserves a break. But this never happens. The minute she regains full consciousness, the baby is brought to her for her to breast feed and give the baby the first milk which according to studies helps promote the immune system of the baby. Not much break from that. And it will never stop from this point onwards. Every time that baby cries, she will have to drop everything she is doing and breast feed the baby. Newborn babies only cry when they are wet or hungry. And they require feeding almost 8-10 times a day round the clock.

Normal delivery ensures a mother of being up on her feet within 2 days. Some hospitals make women walk from the delivery room to their wards right after they are cleaned up and fully conscious. So much for “caring” for the mother.

If a mother delivers by c-section or caesarian section, the stitches start hurting after the second day and she will be unable to move around too much for 2 weeks. If she has to move, she has to be assisted and that means everything from brushing her teeth to going to the bathroom or toilet, sitting up, lying down, standing up or just simply try to walk around. She is directed not to be too mobile for two weeks because of the stitches. The stitches might be healed on the surface skin but on the inside, it would take a month to 3 months for the inner muscles to heal up. Cold temperatures will cause the wound to throb and the normal functions of the muscles are stopped so the stomach has a harder time reverting back to their normal size. This is why some women who had a c-section tend to have sagging stomach skin over their bikini lines.

Why should one NOT get married [Part 2]

2008-04-07T18:47:00.002+08:00

[Chapter 2] IN-LAWS

The in-laws will never side with you no matter what they tell you, no matter how NICE they are to you. Never let your guard down. Blood is always thicker than water unless of course if you find a man whose parents aren’t as intrusive as most in laws or better yet, if he’s an orphan. Being the girl, the mother in law will always be the queen of the house and everyone is expected to pay her homage especially the daughter in law. So it is always better to get your own place even before the wedding. If not, the reality is she will always tell you what to do in handling her son, managing your kids, managing your house.

If your husband brings home something for you, there’s a possibility that there’s a “twin” item for his mother. Or else she will resent the fact that her son never beings home anything for her and resent you in the process. The question now is what if your husband doesn’t want to leave the nest? Of course it is unfair because you left your nest to be with him, right? Where is it written than a woman for simply being a woman; should uproot herself to be with her husband?

If I remember correctly, the Bible says that a man shall leave his parent’s house to be with his wife. But that isn’t always the case in our society. It is even worse when a woman refuses to leave her nest and insists that her husband stay with her and her parents. That too is pathetic and unfair to the man. It is always better to be on your own and not be with any in law for that matter even if it’s just a one-room apartment; it’s still your domain.

Another reality no one will discuss with you is the manhandling that goes on within a marriage. Thank the Congress for passing the Marital Rape Law. When a man beats up his wife it is called “a natural occurrence”, it happens, it can’t be helped. This society finds stupid machismo synonymous with wife-beaters. And it is only lately that a wife can send her erring husband to jail for beating her up. When a wife beats up her husband, they call it abuse and abnormal and she ends up in jail if she’s not aware of her rights as a woman and as a wife. When a wife wants to have sex and he doesn’t, she can’t do anything about it unless she wants to be called a slut. When a man wants to have sex and she says no, there are two possibilities. She gets beaten AND raped or she gets replaced. Or worse, both for the same matter.

Child rearing is a woman’s domain. Even if society encourages a man to take part in the daily care of a baby, the woman is still the star of that role. There are things no commercial would show as far as child rearing is concerned. Like waking up at 3am to make milk and the baby’s screaming his head off. No, it isn’t just for one night but for every night until the baby stops drinking milk from a bottle after 3-5 years. Changing diapers is also messy. Smelly and messy. But women cope because it’s their child but when a man is caught with a dirty diaper, he calls his wife because it’s a “woman’s job” regardless if she hasn’t slept in the past 18 hours.

Breast feeding also requires some orientation. Some women find it uncomfortable to breast feed. Some can’t even lactate due to some physical problem with the breasts. Of course, men can never fill this role so it is up to the women to perform. If you can’t breast feed, elderly people will tell you so many terrible things about the inability and what the baby is missing out on. To a point of saying you’re a lousy mother; these people won’t care what the problem is. If you’re capable of breast feeding, your breasts; voluptuous as it was before you gave birth only has one direction and that’s south. The breast line goes nearer and nearer your waist line and for what? Okay you’ve breast fed the baby. You have breast fed the baby for more than 6 months. People will say it is best if you do for 2 years! Doing this, you earn the favor of all the elderly people in his and your family. But when you’re alone and you look at yourself naked in the mirror, what do you see? Do you think you’ll like what you’ll see? Your nipples will be huge and swollen and the entire breast is beginning to sag. You think you’ll like seeing that? Do you think your husband will like seeing that as well? It is RARE that a man will take into consideration that his wife is breastfeeding his child and accepts the changes in her body. Most men don not have the brain cells to even accept it or be considerate enough and expect their wives to “take better care of physical attributes” to keep him interested.

Why should one not get married? Dealing with the reality of being married has no seminar or course in college. You have counselors but they usually show up after the wedding and after the marriage goes haywire. The Church calls marriage a sacred vow both parties have to fulfill in order to be favorable in the eyes of God. 8 out of 10 marriages are lousy and depressing. 6 out of 10 marriages end up in separation and people will always take sides and blame both parties. More often than not, men leave their wives because of someone else. Some one younger or more adventurous in bed. That is considered normal in our society because of the “macho” image of having more than one woman in a man’s life. But when a wife leaves her husband for one reason or another even if it isn’t because of another man, she is the most evil wife, the most immoral person and the one with all the faults. Did anyone bother to ask her why she left?

People and counselors only see the outside scenario. They can’t understand the situation because they are not the ones IN the situation. They might be able to relate to your problems but marital problems are on a case-to-case basis. There isn’t one exact replica of another problem. In general there are similarities but the details differ and levels of pain and abuse vary.

How does one deal with it when after the honeymoon, Dr. Jekyll returns to being Mr. Hyde? People react differently under different circumstances. He might be a saint living with his parents but the devil in disguise the minute you get your own place. You won’t know until it’s too late and the only solution is either getting a legal separation or annulment. This is where counselors and group therapy in some religious council come in. People will invite you to join their marriage counseling group and have some one “in the know” tell you that there’s something wrong with your marriage, as if you didn’t already know. They’ll give you lessons on how to bear the hardships and how to deal with the partner. They’ll tell you everything except tell you to leave him or her. I doubt it if they’ll say anything if one partner ends up dead in the bedroom or in the intensive care unit after being beaten up.

So you found a real jerk or bitch. The down side to all this is that you’re married to each other and there’s no divorce in this country. The legal separation is a lengthy and expensive process and it is mandatory that a couple undergo marriage counseling for 6 or more months to be monitored and given by a psychiatrist. If the shrink does not declare either party mentally incapacitated, then 6 months of counseling will not guarantee a separation but instead make it more impossible to be separated. An annulment takes even longer and is more expensive than getting a legal separation. So why should you get married in the first place?

There are no ideal marriages. People will always tell you that. No fairy tale, no Prince Charming, no happy endings. That’s the reality no one else will discuss with you until you realize for yourself that you’ve made one heck of a stupid mistake. And by that time, you’ll probably be intellectually backward to be gainfully employed, back ridden by half a dozen kids, no maids and too old for the job market. You might have a 36-40-45 body statistic and a husband you’d love to lose with the 40 pound excess weight you’ve gained in less than 10 years.

At this day and age, a woman should not be bothered by the fact that her age is leaping off the calendar and she is still single, no kids and no husband. That is bliss for most women who are still within the calendar’s number but look like they have their age written in the lotto ticket. Compare a working wife-mother to a mother/wife who stays home to take care of the kids, house and husband. Who is happier and more fulfilled as a person? Of course it will always be the working wife because she’s independent, she doesn’t need her husband’s financial help in some cases. She is socially active, socially aware, updated with the changing times and her level of self respect is higher than a house-bound wife. Some women find fulfillment in being full time mothers and wives. But the bottom line is – a woman has to be prepared for the unknown. She has to be ready for anything and to better arm herself with whatever comes – working a job is better than working at the home no matter what elders say. What if he leaves you and you’re not working? To get a legal guarantee you and the children will get support the minute he steps out of the door is a long shot. I know a lot of separated women who work and take care of their kids with no decent support from their husbands or totally nothing. Yet these men expect to get visitation rights the minute they don’t have a girlfriend waiting for them. The way I see it, if they want to see their children, they should pay for it. If they don’t want to get legal summons from court, they should send decent support. But the law in this country lacks implementation and monitoring. Filing one document in family court is expensive and most mothers would rather use that money to buy food than spend it on blood-sucking lawyers.

House bound wives are often mistaken as those who have nothing to do since all they do is stay home. That all they attend to is gossip with the neighbors or watch gossip shows and drama series on television. When the 15^th or 30^th comes, they demand for their husband’s salaries. That is the typical Filipino mentality for house wives. What most people are not aware of is the fact that a full time mother/wife is a 24 hour job description with no overtime pay, no vacation leaves and no salary adjustments. The only salary they get is whatever’s left of the budget once everything is paid for. Being a full time mother/wife means being at the beck and call of everyone in the house. It’s better if she has a maid but most men who have non-working wives at home prefer that they not get a maid especially if it’s a small family at that.

Full-time mothers/wives do everything in the house from scrubbing the toilet grime to doing the laundry, throwing out the garbage, cooking, cleaning, and picking up after everyone, doing the dishes and ironing the clothes. She is mother, wife, cleaning lady, cook, garbage woman, laundry woman, carpenter, mechanic, electrician, and tutor and bed partner. To hell if she’s been working from sun up to sun down. The minute her husband makes her lie down and spread her legs, she has no choice but give in. That’s what being a full time mother/wife really is. That’s a major part of any marriage in this country or any country for that matter.

The Church will also tell you that the first and real purpose of marriage is to have kids. (As if there weren’t enough orphans in the world.) So if you’re getting married because you’re pregnant, then that’s that. But if you’re not pregnant, ask yourself if you want kids or if you’re ready to have kids. You have to ask yourself how you feel about children. How? Find a relative or friend with a three year old child and take over as surrogate mother for one day to one week. If you survive one week, you might make it as a mother. But if the week made you feel it was hard and bothersome on both your physical and mental state; don’t feel so bad because most mothers feel the same way you do. The only difference is – you can give up being a surrogate mother and real mothers can’t. They are stuck for life and they are stuck with that reality day in and day out until their kids are old enough to leave the nest.

In reality, if you don’t have a maid and you have a child; you work 388 days a year, 30 hours a day and 9 days a week. Gone are the days when a nursemaid would stay up with you or stay up voluntarily with a child. Today’s maids choose their job description and have the nerve to choose the kind of work they will do and will not do. You also put your child at risk with the possibility that they’ll get neglected, abused or sold when you’re not around. So you end up getting tied not only to the house, but also to the child. And when your husband comes home and starts demanding for attention and sex, would you say no? At the risk of getting replaced or beaten up? The first choice is always NOT to get married.

The “package deal” is also a lot of bull. If you do not learn to put a line between your roles as mother, wife, daughter, and daughter in law, career woman, friend, and partner – the roles get mixed up and you get messed up. You won’t even have time enough for yourself to hear yourself think. But being single doesn’t require such role descriptions because your only role is to yourself. You don’t answer to anyone except yourself and your sole responsibility is yourself. Too selfish? Why? Do you think anyone else is going to look out for you whether you’re married or not? You think your husband will look out for you and take care of you when you need him the most? You’re lucky if you find that one man in a thousand. The minute a man comes home and there’s no food on the table, when he can’t have his way with you and starts treating you no less than the maid, he will look out for you because he’ll be scared to live alone and do every chore by himself. The minute you cannot perform your duties and his house becomes “messy” by his standards, all that mushy crap you felt before you got married is out the door and down the drain. He will manhandle you or leave you to find someone who’ll treat him like a king and that’s the truth.

So why bother getting married? If you’re not a masochist, why get married? If you love your freedom, why get married? If you love your job, why give it up for someone who can’t offer you a job but be his slave for the next ten years or until you die of old age at 39? If you want to be young at an old age, don’t get married. It’s better than getting old at a young age.

Why Should one NOT get married [Part 1]

2008-04-07T18:41:00.000+08:00

The basic problems today cover a stem of interconnected items that affect not only married couples as a whole but the individual party as well. Why should one get married in the first place? The Church requires a couple to undergo a series of seminars that perhaps “give” a couple-to-be a fake look into the reality of married life. There are a lot of items these seminars do not discuss with the soon-to-be couples often times misleading them into thinking and believing that all their problems are going to be solved AFTER the marriage. But that’s just it. Couples who do not know the reality of being married will never run out of problems. And there are actually MORE problems when one is married.

But first, a look into why people consider getting married. Love, early pregnancy, financial security, separation from parental ties, age, convenience, mergers, social acceptance, political or business upgrading or just for the heck of it. There are many reasons why people get married and what ever those reasons are, they all disappear the minute reality steps in or after the wedding, which ever comes first.

There are three levels of marriage – the poor, middle class and ultra rich. The ultra rich isn’t spared from their share of marital tumult and more often than not – the legality is more pronounced since there’s more property to divide, more bank accounts to divide, more assets to liquidate, so on and so forth. Lawyers do most of the talking for them. The middle classes hardly encounter such legalities with property and money but there is still the conjugal division, child custody, child support and a lot of disillusionment involved. Here, couples are often face to face with each other and the drama ensues. The poor just get up and leave, go to another nest often leaving behind a string of kids.

But the causes of marital problems affect all the levels involved. Extra-marital affairs, financial distress, incompatibility, irreconcilable differences, lack of communication, in-laws intruding into the marriage, lack of mutual respect, physical abuse, emotional abuse, frustrations, disappointments, financial deprivation, lack of love and lust, a total disregard for each other or simply falling out of love and being miserable in the marriage.

Why should one not get married? That is the question every planning couple should ask themselves before they take the plunge and end up with the Titanic! When you get married, you lose your single blessedness. The single life wherein you can do what ever you want when ever you want and with whom ever you want to be with. You can spend your hard earned money on whoever you want to spend it on, splurge on yourself or someone special and have the freedom to decide for yourself without a second thought for anything else. The night-outs, the parties, the friends, the traveling, the freedom of a career taking you everywhere except down of course. If you’re a female and getting hitched (married) – if you’re not pregnant why get married? Age? Biological clock? If it isn’t a matter of career or biological concerns, why get married?

Pregnancy kills the figure of a woman. It is so hard for a woman to recover her figure after giving birth. It places the body system in such disarray that your breasts start to sag especially if your breast feed, the stretch marks stay forever. If you get operated on while giving birth, you can kiss your bikini goodbye, bikini stitch or not. The scar stays forever and leaves an ugly mark. The skin becomes less pliant so no matter how many stomach crunches you do and go to the gym, the belly is forever sagging. Your hips become so large because if it’s a normal delivery, your bones never go back to their normal position. If one delivers normally, it takes about 3 to 4 days for you to recover. If you get a cesarean section, you’ll be bedridden for nearly a month depending on how fast your body can recover. And then every time the season changes from hot to cold or vice versa, your stomach hurts as if you just had the operation yesterday even if it’s been a year. What most mothers won’t tell their pregnant daughters is the fact that delivering a baby can be fatal if complications arise during the delivery.

If you’re female and getting married, you should realize that 90% of a marriage’s success rests on your shoulders – literally rests on all your limbs. If you’re one of the few lucky ones who get a maid a day after your wedding, that’s good. But many starting couples do not have use for a maid unless you are temporarily handicapped or totally unaware of house work. If you happen to suffer the fate of living with your in laws, the problem becomes triple because now you have to deal with your husband and his entire family as well. Everything you do will be placed under a microscope and no one is beautiful under a microscope. If you will live on your own with your husband, who will cook? Who will clean up the house? Who will do the laundry? Who will iron the clothes? Who will do the dishes, scrub the toilet, clean the bathroom, take out the garbage and do the grocery? If you have a career to take care of, do you think you can still do all these house chores and attend to your career at the same time? Men will never do house chores unless they live by themselves or their mothers trained them well. Men will never lift a finger to wring clothes for hanging even if they tell you they will. Men will never get caught dead doing the laundry or scrubbing the toilet. Even if the great chefs are men, majority of men will never be found in the kitchen doing 3 meals a day. It is good if you have a maid you can supervise, but still YOU supervise because men can never be depended on to supervise house work. So the success of a marriage literally does fall on a woman’s shoulder and that’s because you got hitched. That the real meaning of it – you get hitched like a saddle is placed on the back of a horse. You will do everything, you will supervise everything. Newly married couples cannot afford a maid and a nursemaid at the same time. If you have a career – you either quit your job or work double time to afford yourself a maid. If you quit your job, you will end up doing everything since men and in-laws are fond of saying “you don’t do anything in the house since you’re not working”. To men, staying home is “not working” even if you work your fingers to the bone doing multi-tasks like doing the laundry and cooking a meal at the same time while breast feeding a new born baby. Even if you work straight from 6:00am to 11:00pm, to them, the fact that you no longer “earn” money is “not working” as far as they are concerned.

So reality kicks in the minute you find yourself on all fours scrubbing the grit and grim off the toilet walls, floors and toilet bowl and sink. And you start to realize: Heck, we’re not even blood relatives so why am I doing the entire dirty job when I could be all dressed up and working in an office, earning my own money and still look pretty? Love? Love will not give your back a back rub. Love will not ease the pain of your legs from standing up the entire day. And love will not hang the laundry nor iron the clothes, you will. Love will not erase the varicose veins you’ll develop from standing up too often. Let us say you manage to last for a year doing the same routine 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. At the end of one year, tell me if it’s still “love”. I haven’t even touched on taking care of a newborn baby at this point. This is just juggling housework and career. Women eventually quit their jobs because men will lie and tell their wives they can very well “provide” for her and that she should just stay home. Truthfully enough, men will provide well – they’ll provide their laundry, they’ll provide reasons not to help with house chores, they’ll provide a hundred and one reasons why you can’t go out and watch a movie, go out and dates, go window shopping, they’ll provide you with kids to take care of, their family for you to attend to but the basic necessities to keep a marriage going – they will not provide for the intangibles. It is still up to the wife to balance everything because the minute a husband says – you never have time for me – tell him to take a flying leap because you’re the one fixing up his house, taking care of his stuff and attending as well to his family since you guys don’t have kids yet. In laws will not vanish the minute you have kids. They’ll just be around more often than you’d like them to be.

It’s okay when you can afford to hire house help. You don’t do any house chores. Good for you. So what’s the problem? Too immersed in both your careers? You never go out? You hardly date after the wedding? You want to have kids and he doesn’t? You don’t want to have kids and he wants to? The romance isn’t there anymore?

Let’s start with the basic girl-next-door scenario. You’re a good girl and your parents never had problems with you. Then you meet the man of your dreams and sweep you off your feet. You fall in love, make plans and even talk about getting married one day. But on the other hand, what are you? You’re a single female, young with a blooming career with room for upgrading in your company. Then comes in what he wants. If he wants you to continue your career, good for you. But what if he prefers that you stay home and that he promises to “provide for you”? Of course since you’re caught up in the mushiness of being in love and the beautiful sound of his promises to take care of your every want in the world you’ll probably agree to let go of your career. Most women who can’t afford to lose a man would rather lose their career than to lose a man. And that’s pathetic. It isn’t the RIGHT way to go even if your parents commit suicide trying to convince you it is.

A man can never replace a career. Same as a career can never replace a woman. I have yet to see a man who will let go of his career because a woman asked him to. But many women would give up their careers for their men. Isn’t that odd? Such unfair standards yet society calls it normal that a woman should stay home and take care of hearth and home, kids and husband to boot and an occasional relative or in law on the side.

It’s the new millennium; it’s the 21^st century already. But does society tolerate a working wife? In the metropolis, it is an accepted norm due to the high cost of living in the city. And men have no other option but allow their wives to work because they simply cannot provide enough. During these times when the economy is hard maybe a great deal of husbands prefer that their wives work but is it sincere? In general, how do men feel about it when their wives begin earning more than they do? Unrealistic to say that it’s alright with them because it isn’t. Many couples separate due to financial conditions and it isn’t because of a lack of it, but because she is earning more than he is and he can’t take it. It’s a bad blow to his ego especially if he prides himself as the “provider” of the family. I know of a couple who after 4 kids and 15 years of marriage, the wife renewed her career and made it big in the sales industry. He ended up physically mauling her and she left him in jail all because she earned more than he did. But we’ll go into financial issues later.

But back to our main topic – why should one not get married? Aside from the after effects of the honeymoon, there are realities no parent or pastor would ever discuss with you until it’s too late and you’re deep in the quagmire of things. Today, couples are required strictly to attend seminars on “marriage and family planning” but never will they discuss the rights of both husband and wives, their roles to their spouses, their roles to their future children and what is expected of them as partners. Since these seminars are sponsored by the church, they’ll forever quote and re quote Bible passages regarding wives supposed to be submissive to their husbands and that’s that. The most common issues that adversely affects any marriage won’t be discussed either. But we will. First are the in-laws.

(To be continued....)

Joseph and the Pharaoh

2008-04-04T14:53:00.000+08:00

I heard it from a very reliable source that food sources for developing countries as well as under-developed countries would be gone by 2010-2015. The imagine the shock of my life when I heard it on BBC. I need not send you any links because just searching "food shortage" on Google or Yahoo and they will give you so many links to news articles - its practically global.

Then to hear local news last night saying some developer wanted to infrastructure projects in Palawan and Batangas... do we need infrastructure while we go hungry and depend on imports for our food source? I'm not saying infrastructure development should be banned but arable land should be retained primarily for food production ergo - farming.

Reading and listening to all the news about food shortage, rice crisis and now on a global scale - food shortage is caused by over population, a lack of arable land, wasteful eating habits, a lack of manpower to farm, a lack of incentives as well to farm. Just like in the Bible when Joseph told the Pharaoh to stock during the 7 years of plenty to cover the 7 years of famine - can the Filipino do the same thing while there's still time? I remember hearing it on BBC while the World Food Program people were being interviewed - "there will come a time when most exporting countries will no longer export food products like wheat, corn and rice due to shortages in their own country".

With the Philippines' population shooting up and out of control, arable land reducing by 25% every year due to residential and commercial developments, farmers getting screwed out of farms and profit from produce, wholesalers and retailers hoarding, global warming, el niño and la niña distruptiing our harvest seasons - I would like to see a total shift in priorities in this country. Can the government be Pharaoh and listen to Joseph? Can we delay infrastructure developments by 50% and use arable lands to plant, harvest and stock? Can we be self-sufficient enough to feed our own country? Can we put a hold on the growing population and tell the Church to keep quiet about their protests over population control for once? Can we divert profit to those who actually break their backs planting to give them incentives not to stop farming? Can this government support, finance, and cuddle food projects instead of telecoms, infrastructure, commercial and residential projects that won't feed the people in the long term analysis? I'm not saying stop it, but delay it and use the land first - there is so much arable land in this country no one wants to farm and develop as farm lands simply because there's no profit in it anymore. We have IRRI, we taught Vietnam and Thailand to plant fast yielding rice - how come we can't teach our own farmers to do the same thing?

As a mother - I worry like anything over the future of my children who are still in elementary. If we adults are already having a hard time surviving with everything that's affecting us domestically and globally - what about these kids? What kind of future will they have? In the micro level of society - we still may not be feeling the pinch of food shortage. But globally, its already being felt and as part of the global nation - we should do something about it now before the famine years get here. I just hope that I am not the only one who is seeing this and I also hope and pray someone in the government spearheads this in earnest like it was needed yesterday.... Unfortunately, I just can't think of anyone who can.